True Feelings
by ElaineSohma
Summary: Paul and Zoey have been together for two months. But there's something Zoey doesn't quite understand yet- a side of Paul she hasn't seen, and isn't sure she wants to see. dark times. M for minor smut/lemon


New story! I've had this one written for quite a while, actually, just never got the time to upload it.

Summary: Paul and Zoey have been together for two months. But there's something Zoey doesn't quite understand yet- a side of Paul she hasn't seen, and isn't sure she wants to see.

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><p>There was a certain warmth she felt whenever he held her. She didn't understand it. It wasn't even when they were being physically intimate. Her usually cold and aloof boyfriend, sometimes, just simply wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her close. He whispered in her ear that he missed her, no matter how long it'd been since they were together last.<p>

But it confused her. Sometimes, he was so affectionate and passionate. Sometimes they had sex, and sometimes they made love. It was different. Sure, it'd only been a month since they had sex at Paul's sister's party, and became a couple that night. But Zoey could feel it. There was a difference.

At the moment Zoey realized this, they had finished having sex in the middle of the night. Paul laid on top of her, panting heavily. Zoey's arms were wrapped around his torso, and his head rested on her shoulder. He kept an arm around her lower back. She unlocked her ankles, her legs falling down from his waist.

The redhead sighed, catching her breath and cleared her throat, before saying, "P-Paul, can I ask you something?"

She felt him nod, as he pulled himself out of her, and laid down on his bed beside her. She hissed at the loss of his warmth. But he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She reconnected her arms around his torso, her head on his chest.

"Ask..." he panted, "anything."

Zoey hesitated, sliding her hand up his back to run her fingers through his long purple hair. But still, she said, "How do you really feel about me?"

He leaned his head down and kissed her neck. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she looked up at him, staring into his black eyes. "We have sex half the time, and half the time we make love."

"There's a difference?"

"For a girl, there is."

"What's the difference?"

She sat up, tearing away from him. She clutched the comforter to her chest, covering herself. She blinked, fighting words. She saw him lean on his elbow out of the corner of her eye.

"Its more... passionate when we make love. When we make love, I feel like... you truly care about me. Its gentler, and more loving. But..." she closed her eyes. "When its just sex, its like... you don't even know its me. Like... you don't care about me at all. So... do you care?"

"Zoey," he put his hand on her back. "Why would you even think that?"

"Maybe you should leave."

"Uh-" his eyes widened. He blinked a few times in surprise, before asking, "Why?"

"You answered my question with a question." she looked at him, her eyes hurting from holding back tears. "I learned from Gianni Vitale that when men answer questions with other questions, it means the worst."

"That's not-"

"Tell me how you feel about me. The truth." she snapped, scowling. "If you can't... then just leave."

"Zoey-"

"And don't come back."

Paul sat up on his knees, grabbed her face, and kissed her. She didn't kiss him back, or even close her eyes. When he pulled his head away, he sighed, dropping his head. He clenched his eyes shut, and said, "I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

"Anything." he slid his hand down her arm, taking her hand in both of his. "Anything at all. Zoey, I do know that... that this- whatever we have- is special."

"What do we have?"

He didn't say anything. Zoey swallowed a lump in her throat, and said, "Then, maybe you should go."

"Zoey, don't-"

"Please, just- just... just go."

"No."

"Uh-" she looked up, starting to feel the tears become inevitable. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean," he crawled on top of her, making her lay on her back. She gasped, seeing his almost-threatening expression. He stood on his hands and knees, her beneathe him. He pulled the blanket off of her as he went on, "You're not ending it like this."

"Yes, I am." she said, staring back up at him. She tried to keep her face straight, but could feel her heart start to race. "Leave."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Paul, get out."

"Why?" he snapped, glaring at her intensely. "Give me one good reason and I'll go."

Zoey opened her mouth, but couldn't form words. Instead, she tried to push him off of her, but he sat back, grabbed her wrists, and pinned them down on the bed. She gasped, and turned her head away from him, looking anywhere else but at him.

"You can't think of anything," he hissed, "can you?"

She closed her eyes, and shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She whimpered, "No. "

"Why do you want me to leave?"

"You don't care."

"Why do you think that?"

She looked up at him. "Because instead of holding me and convincing me you care, you're holding me down. And its actually kind of scaring me." his eyes widened. "Its borderline abusive."

Paul gasped, letting go of her hands. He moved off of her, and she sat up, rubbing her wrists.

"Zoey," he went to touch her cheek, and she almost flinched. He cupped her face anyway, caressing her cheek gently. "I'm so sorry. I didn't..." he shook his head. "The thought of you ending this," he put his other hand on her neck, "makes me panic. It makes me want to make sure you can't leave me."

"P-Paul," she stammered, clutching his wrists. She shook her head, unable to look at him. "that's abusive and controlling, and if that's the way this is going to be, then you are going to leave right now."

"Zoey," he pulled her closer, "I don't know. I don't know a thing at all right now, except that right here, right now, you are the only thing I can focus on. You're the only thing that's on my mind, constantly." he wiped some tears off her cheek. "And that scares me as much as you. Of course I care about you. I can't stand being away from you."

"Paul, you're scaring me."

"I'm scaring myself."

"P-Paul," she cried, her shoulders racking. She stared down, tears falling out of her closed eyes. "Paul, I love you."

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. She hugged him back, sobbing into his chest in the darkness. She sobbed, "Paul, don't leave me!"

"_You_ don't leave _me_."

"I won't. I'm so stupid. It was stupid of me," she sniffed, "to even think of it."

"Don't do this to yourself." he put a hand on the back of her head, stroking her scarlet hair. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"Paul," she lifted her head, grabbed his face and kissed his hard. "Paul, make love to me."

He kissed her back just as hard, pushing her onto her back again. He laid on top of her, his arms still around her back. He kissed down her neck and chest, feeling her wrap her legs around his waist again. As soon as he knew he was fully erect, he grabbed her hips, and gently thrusted himself inside her. Zoey gasped, arching her back. She grabbed locks of his hair, shutting her eyes.

Paul kissed her, holding her tight as he began to pull himself out and push back inside her. She moaned each time he did, still silently crying.

Despite the heavy feeling in her heart, she enjoyed the love-making that she put little effort into, happy to be close to him again. His feelings for her still confused her, and she doubted she'd ever really truly know. She knew he felt something strong for her. Despite what she didn't know, she knew for a fact that he mumbled something into her ear after making love, right as she was falling asleep.

She wasn't sure if he said, "I'll always, always care about you," or "I'll always, always love you." It was more likely the prior, but still, she smiled and waited for the day that he told her how he truly felt.

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><p>^_^ review! :D I like this one- 3 I love writing PaulZoey3


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